This is me: Gisli Kristjansson

THIS IS ME: Gisli Kristjansson

June 18, 2023, in the tunnel of LANXESS arena about to enter the court for the EHF Champions League final against Kielce. I'm totally locked in on the goal. To deliver what we talked about. To execute what we talked about doing. To live this lifelong dream. But I don't actually know if I will be able to play.

30 minutes ago, trying to warm up, I couldn't lift my arm above shoulder height. Every move was painful. One day ago, in the semi-final, I was shooting when I heard my shoulder pop out of the socket. After that, it seemed clear I couldn't play the final. But I want to try.

Five weeks ago, I was told the season was over for me when I broke a part of my foot in the first-leg quarter-final and had to race to recover to be able to play in Cologne if we made it. Just under three years before that, I moved to Magdeburg and became part of building this team. Two years ago, I left Iceland to join THW Kiel, fulfilling a huge dream. And many years ago — I cannot remember exactly when — I picked up a handball for the first time.

Back to the beginning, and step by step to that night in June in Cologne.

My father was a handball player and my mother, also, although she's more known as a politician. I played both football and handball through all my younger years. In Iceland, it's really common that you play handball in the winter and football in the summer, and that was the case with me until I was 16 or 17 years old. Then I needed to decide which sport I wanted to continue with and I think I made the right choice by choosing handball.

I was actually in the youth national teams for both handball and football, so it was quite difficult to choose. But for me, handball was more fun because it has more action. In football, most of the time you're following the ball, but in handball you're always on — one second you're focused on defence and the next you're focused on offence. There are so many factors you need to think about in handball, and as a playmaker you need to think about tactics. Where to attack and how to run.

I also saw for myself that I could maybe do something with handball, but in the end, it was just a matter of what was more fun. What would I rather do? Which sport would make me happier? That was quite simple.

Growing up in Iceland — I wouldn't have it any other way. I am the middle child of three with four years between each of us. I have one brother, the eldest, and one sister. My brother played sports growing up, but it wasn't his thing. My sister wasn't so much into it but did swimming.

My father, Kristján Arason, was in the national team. He scored over 1,000 goals and is one of the few to do that for Iceland. He's one of the best Icelandic players in history. He played for Gummersbach and was here in Germany for a long time. My brother was born here. With Gummersbach, my father won the German national championship and the Cup Winners' Cup. My mother, Þorgerður Katrín Gunnarsdóttir, also played a few games for the national team.

I can't explain why a lot of Icelandic people, like my mother, seem to do so many different things. We are really active. I don't know why there are so many successful handball players per capita, compared to how few we are. I think there's something in our genes that we always need to push ourselves. We're never satisfied and we can always develop. We always want something more. We are always looking forward to getting better and what we can do better and we are not afraid to criticise ourselves.

I try to go home to Iceland as often as possible, when we don't have games, which doesn't happen often because our schedule is so crazy. Maybe once a season. When I go home, when the weather is good, in the summer, I like to play golf. Of course I catch up with friends. I go out to drink a lot of coffee or go swimming. In Iceland we have a lot of swimming pools where you can go in a hot tub. I try to see my family and might go to the country with our dog.

When the national team is competing, when there is a national team week, it's really calming and always good to be home. Of course, it's sometimes difficult to be away from them, but I have my girlfriend here with me in Germany and I'm really enjoying our life. She is a really big reason I'm happy and that everything is going well. I don't think too much about home because I am trying to enjoy the life I'm having right now; just enjoy the journey that we're having.

In 2018, I moved abroad for the first time, to THW Kiel. To play for THW Kiel, any handball fan knows that's something really huge. Every little kid knows how big a club Kiel is. When I got the news that they wanted me, I don't know how to describe the emotions because it was so fantastic. My dream came true. As a young kid, I watched Aron Pálmarsson go from the same club I was with in Iceland, FH, to THW Kiel. That was basically every young Icelandic handball player's dream.

I think Alfred Gislason, the coach of Kiel at that time, saw me playing in the play-offs in Iceland. I had also been playing my first games in the national team. But I don't know fully how they found me — you would have to ask him!

Of course it was difficult to go away from the family. I was really young at that time. A new country, a new language, a new system. But I think overall it was a really good school for me to be on my own out in the world and to just manage. It helped me to develop into the person I'm becoming and I'm really glad for those years in the beginning.

Working with Gislason was a great honor. Of course, he is a great coach and I really look up to him and everything he has done. All the titles he won with Kiel and Magdeburg. To be at Kiel was a big shock because I'm suddenly standing there with all my idols that I grew up watching. I'm playing alongside people like Duvnjak and Marko Vujin on the back court and also the best players in other positions like Niklas Landin. I could go on and on. Suddenly I was one of them. It took some time to sink in, how big it was.

In 2020 I went to Magdeburg. When I joined, that's when the club was really starting to build. Bennet Wiegert wanted us to play a certain way — a lot of one-against-one — so he got players who could do that. We have players who are fantastic in one-on-one situations. We play what we are good at. We are always trying to work together on what we want to do.

From when I joined we played this modern handball that a lot of teams were not playing. I think we were one of the first teams that had this really quick handball. Always making fast breaks and doing this one-on-one handball that is really in fashion now. We wanted to work with the possibilities to shoot to narrow the goal. We have developed a great system in that regard.

There was also something that was hard to describe. Something in the team and the club about how we wanted to develop our morale and character together. We developed a winning mentality. We always wanted to step forward towards being with the top teams; to have the mentality that we belong among the best teams and we can win titles. I'm really glad to be part of that development and that we are now one of the best teams in the world.

By 2022/23, we had won some trophies — the EHF European League in 2021, the Bundesliga and German Cup in 2022, plus two Super Globes back-to-back — and we were in the EHF Champions League. We had a great season and qualified directly for the quarter-finals.

In the first leg of the quarter-final against Plock I broke a part of my foot. I was told that the season was over for me. But one of our physios said that there was a chance I could be ready to play the EHF FINAL4 if we made it there, so I just wanted to do absolutely everything to make sure I could be part of that if we did reach it. Playing the EHF FINAL4 had been a dream since I was a kid. Even if I couldn't play as much, I wanted to be part of the team when we went to Cologne.

I was really determined to do everything I could to make it happen. I worked really hard on my recovery every day. I probably annoyed my girlfriend because I had all these devices to help me and I sometimes slept with something that made a lot of noise through the night. But I wanted to do everything extra I could for the chance to play the EHF FINAL4.

It was really close to the EHF FINAL4 that I found out I was fit to play. The week after the second leg against Plock, we took the cast off, and it got better very quickly from there. I started to train, to see what I was capable of day by day, and it just developed step by step to where I could play again in time.

We went to the EHF FINAL4 and the semi-final was a great game against Barcelona. When I got injured, I think I went to attack between the two and three defenders and wanted to shoot on goal, but at the moment I was shooting I heard my shoulder pop out. It was extremely painful.

The referees of the game were Icelandic and I remember lying on the ground while they calmly asked me if I needed help, because if you're treated you have to sit out for three attacks, so they need to check first. They had no idea I was that badly injured so I was screaming in Icelandic, “It's out! It’s out!” about my shoulder and then they realised I definitely needed help and would probably be out for a lot more than three attacks.

We had a doctor from Bayer Leverkusen with us for the EHF FINAL4 and he was very good. He came onto the pitch, but I don't remember much of it. I know Magnus Saugstrup was helping me stay awake. The guys said I passed out. I was trying to be as calm as possible because the doctor could pop my shoulder back in right then. I've been sadly through that a few times, so I knew I needed to be calm. I guess I can say gladly I passed out because then I was completely calm.

The doctor did the best possible job of popping the shoulder back in. Of course it was really, really painful but it went as well as it possibly could have. After the initial treatment I went back to the stands and watched the guys deliver this amazing performance against Barcelona. The regular time, the extra time and then the penalty shootout. I was so glad for players like Marko Bezjak, who played unbelievably. They showed this absolute class in that extra time and I was so proud to be part of the team, just standing on the sideline. They won the penalty shootout and we made it to the final. They said they wanted to win it for me and, thinking at that moment that I wouldn't be able to play the final, that was enough for me.

After the game, I went to a medical check and to get an MRI of the shoulder. The doctors said I would need an operation at some point, but at that moment it couldn't get worse. I asked, can I play tomorrow? And they said yes — the worst case is that the shoulder pops out again, but I wouldn't be risking long-term damage. So I was basically like “f*** it.”

I wanted to try to play, but I couldn't move my arm at all and everything was unbelievably painful. But I said that if I could handle the pain, I wanted to play. It was a dream to play in the final of the Champions League, so I had to try to be part of it if I could help the team in any way.

In the warm-up, I couldn't shoot at all. I couldn't lift my arm above shoulder height, over 90 degrees. I don't know how I played in the end. I think the adrenaline helped a lot, and I had a lot of painkillers in me. Every throw was painful, but somehow I just went through it on some craziness, some adrenaline, some willpower.

During the FINAL4, despite the injury, I was extremely focused on the goal — on the next offense, on the next defense, on the next everything. Just staying 100 per cent locked in all the time. I noticed the crowd and everything, but I was focused on the goal we set. We weren't there just to take part. We wanted to make the best of it.

We won the final and then I was given the MVP award. I was not expecting it at all. I was in the skies because we had just won the Champions League and my greatest dream had come true. When they told me I was MVP I was happy of course, because I had sacrificed a lot — all the things I went through that weekend and also the weeks before. In that moment, it felt like it was all worth it. It was a great moment for me to end it, but winning the trophy was of course the bigger deal.

This season, we've made it directly to the quarter-finals again. Everything is open. We have a great team — maybe an even better one this season. Our goal is of course to win it, because we have the qualities to do it. But I know how tough this sport can be, how every little detail counts, both to get the results and physically. If we can make it to Cologne, if we can reach the final, I hope my ride will be a bit less crazy than last year. But if that's what it takes to win the trophy and play those games again, I'll do it.

Gisli Kristjansson
April 2024